We can't always see the upper Story
I just finished a Bible Study based on the book The Story with my grandma and her church which is also the church I attended before I was hired at Grace First. I wasn't planning on being apart of the study or reading the book but I was over at her house recovering for my first gtube placement and joined her that week on zoom and before I knew it I was sent the book and study guide and invited to join. In the study we spoke alot about the upper Story and the lower story. And it really hit home this past week.
My port was acting funny and my nurse couldn't access it. So I went to the newly opened Community Er and they couldn't access it either... They did however send me home with an IV so I could give myself my meds and fluids over the weekend. On Monday the IV site was failing and I wasn't feeling well. My primary was worried about Infection and sent me to UCI. They wanted a CT with contrast to check placement before accessing it since so many nurses were having trouble. Well thank goodness they did!!! The port ended up being fine however they found so many Pulmonary Emboli!!!! It took me a few days to get over the shock and anger of yet another thing going wrong to take in how blessed I was that these were found before I had symptoms. The first er trip was partly during Noah's party and not knowing the upper Story and the full picture I was really upset. Then having to go to uci I was super upset as well because I have just been in and out of the hospital every week and it's been hard to deal with and stay positive.
God can always see the bigger picture or the upper story and he knew I needed to get that scan! Did I mention I'm allergic to contrast?? Doctors only order it if truly needed and I need iv benedryl and iv steroids first and have to be monitored very carefully so it isn't a test that is ordered lightly for me.
Sometimes when bad things happen or you are feeling like Job where bad things are coming from all directions it's good to take a step back and know that God sees more than we can and is looking out for us. He has gotten us through 100% of the bad days so far so we really have no reason to doubt him. I am truly grateful for the lessons I learned from that bible study because it has really helped me to cope with this most recent hurdle!
This past Sunday blood clots in my lungs and all I was scheduled to sing in service and I made it through!! Now physically walking around church I over did it and I know I need to start using my walker again so I can move around better without needing to rest the two days following to regain my strength. I started a GoFundMe / venmo to raise money for a new walker that converts to a wheelchair and is light enough for me use alone and The Lord God is blessing me again because we raised half the money in a week!!! A few paychecks and we can gett the new device so I can continue to be a bit more independent!
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